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What Happens When I Leave My House

Updated: Feb 11


I went out into the world today.


I'm walking down Beverly Street (the main street here downtown) and I'm thinking to myself... I may not have that much, but I have a few things. Like I've never, not once in my entire life, uttered the phrases "Let's go to the Island for the weekend!" and "But we have that fundraiser!" What's with white people?


Thinking these thoughts, I sit down in my favorite leather chair in the corner at my favorite coffee shop, "So & So". There's this group of three older than middle-aged white people (two women and a man) dressed floppily, gathered at a table across from me. They're deep in discussion, and I'm not sitting down a minute when they've already said the words "diversity" and "inclusivity" at least ten times. The man, a lump in his chair with frizzy white hair like Doc Brown (but with a bald spot on top), turned to the less-lumpish but still lumpy women and said, "It's our nature to be inclusive." Then they went on about a mission statement and how they have friends but not the friends they need, the good friends, the kind who donate 450 Grand friends. Then they talked about having a... drum roll, please.........................................FUND RAISER!


And the three of them were all so... well, un-fuckable. Is this what white people do after they've crossed over into un-fuckableness? They write mission statements and organize fundraisers? Then they disbanded by congratulating each other on a productive meeting. Although I didn't hear when the next meeting was set. Isn't this what people do at meetings? Decide when to have the next meeting?



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