• kevin kunundrum

Being Born is Overrated

Updated: Dec 21, 2019

“Mom! Hello! I’m right here, you know.”

“Yes, I know. And you’ll be right here forever, as you’ve told me. You’re... adamant... Hmm, don’t worry about me. I won’t mind having you weigh me down like a sea anchor so my back always aches and I can never sleep on my stomach and I can’t even have my little glass of wine before dinner that I used to like so much. And I love wearing maternity clothes. I really do. They’re so... stylish.”

“Jesus.” I let out a sigh.

“You shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain.”

“Hmm...” I sighed again. “Alright, you win.”

“What was that?”

“I said I’ll come out, if... if it means that much to you.”

“You... You will?” My mom’s eyes opened wide.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh good, baby! That makes your mama so happy!”

“But, can I ask you a favor?”


“I know I’m supposed to be evicted in like a month or so, but...”

“It’s born, not evicted.”

“Whatever. So can I just hang for a few more months inside? Three months tops! So I can, you know, get used to the idea of being born, and... well, it’ll give me the chance to say goodbye... to in here.”

“Well...” She let out a huff. “I just don’t know.”

“Please, Mom?”

“. . . .”


“Hhh...” She let out another breath. “Alright, I guess. But just for a month or two.”

“Yes! Three months tops!”

“Well... okay.”

“Thanks, Mom! You’re the best!”

“Hmm... I’m just happy that I’ll finally get to see you.”

(an excerpt from FOTUS)

—copyright 2019, 2020 by Kevin Postupack