- kevin kunundrum
Being Born is Overrated
Updated: Dec 21, 2019
“Mom! Hello! I’m right here, you know.”
“Yes, I know. And you’ll be right here forever, as you’ve told me. You’re... adamant... Hmm, don’t worry about me. I won’t mind having you weigh me down like a sea anchor so my back always aches and I can never sleep on my stomach and I can’t even have my little glass of wine before dinner that I used to like so much. And I love wearing maternity clothes. I really do. They’re so... stylish.”
“Jesus.” I let out a sigh.
“You shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain.”
“Hmm...” I sighed again. “Alright, you win.”
“What was that?”
“I said I’ll come out, if... if it means that much to you.”
“You... You will?” My mom’s eyes opened wide.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Oh good, baby! That makes your mama so happy!”
“But, can I ask you a favor?”
“What?”
“I know I’m supposed to be evicted in like a month or so, but...”
“It’s born, not evicted.”
“Whatever. So can I just hang for a few more months inside? Three months tops! So I can, you know, get used to the idea of being born, and... well, it’ll give me the chance to say goodbye... to in here.”
“Well...” She let out a huff. “I just don’t know.”
“Please, Mom?”
“. . . .”
“Pleeeease.”
“Hhh...” She let out another breath. “Alright, I guess. But just for a month or two.”
“Yes! Three months tops!”
“Well... okay.”
“Thanks, Mom! You’re the best!”
“Hmm... I’m just happy that I’ll finally get to see you.”
(an excerpt from FOTUS)
